Baseless rants, Places

“Cisco stop when?”, “Bhaiya, kitna?”, Oh Deer!, and other things.

Okay, that is a long title. But, nice. Yes I am narcissistic. And so are many great writers.

Anyway, I am in Bengaluru now. The desi Silicon Valley, if you will.  Just a short stint here and then I should be back to the land of the forever sun.

New place, nice weather and all that is great. Got a place to stay with Biggs and that is double great. But sheesh! This traffic is wuf!! Took me one full hour to travel 12 kms!!! Madras is 7 times better!!!! [Multiple exclamatory marks totally unintended]
I kinda liked this place as a soujourner. (That is sojourn-inception for ye, dearly beloved in Christ). When you travel around on an extended weekend, no time frames, just drive around in the car, Bangalore-Bannerghatta-the kannadiga places, That is cool. But the run to the bus stop, get huddled up with 20 sweaty men, not know where to get off and ask the irate conductor “Cisco stop when?” more than 5 times… This is not cool.

Margin Note: Madras or Bangalore, all men sweat like pigs. And IT or non-IT, all sweat stinks.

Okay, now the shopping part. I had to buy flip-flops – a term I would only use in a blogpost. Biggs and I go to a ‘Any chappal 100 rupees’ outlet – another term I would use only in the blog. I pick a pair of pink bathroom seruppus a.k.a. flip-flops and ask Biggs if it is definitely a 100 bucks. Biggs says she is not sure, So when in doubt… I forget the proverb/cliche/whatever. Anyway, we ask the shopkeeper. “Cheta… this..”. *Wait, Cheta is malayalam*. “Brother… This chappal…”  *God, no, this sounds like gospel*. Now, “Bhaiya, yeh kitna ka hei?”. Not bad at all. Hundred bucks and flip-flops: check.

But the thing is, I want to speak Kannada. I want to ask bus routes and prices of things in the real Karnataka language. The same words Rahul Dravid will use to buy bathroom slippers. Wow. Isn’t that an amazing feeling!
New 15 days resolution for the year 2013 : Learn kannada. Grammar, vocab, everything. Hut Hut Hut.

Now, the deer caught in the headlights look. No, I haven’t seen a deer caught in the headlights before. Yeah, no,  I haven’t even seen deers crossing the road. But I have watched enough shows on Star World to understand what it means. Even feel it.
So, where does this apply to me?
Get off the bus and a fat lady asks “blah-blah-dhi bla-bla-dho?”. Headlights alert!
Pay for an item and the counter guy asks something. Headlights alert!
But like most deers, I don’t get killed. I manage to run.
A blank stare and run.
All hail, Karnataka and Deer Me!